March 6, 2016
There are some simple things you can do to make those special girls in your wedding feel appreciated which will make them happy and eager to be your bridesmaids.
1. Choose wisely.
“When choosing your bridesmaids, it is important to choose them because you want them there—not because you feel obligated to ask. Just because someone asks you to be a bridesmaid, does not mean you have to agree. This is especially true when you have family pressure to ask a extended family member such as a sister in-law or a cousin. Don't give into the pressure. Your bridesmaids should be the women who you truly feel should be there with you throughout the planning and on your wedding day. Adding more to appease people will end in resentment, and don't forget the more you have the more expensive the day will be.
2. Introduce everyone.
If your bridesmaids don’t know each other or live interstate, then it is important to eliminate any awkwardness by ensuring everyone can put a name to the face. Today this is relatively easy with Social Media. Make a bridesmaid group in Facebook for instance and add them all. There you can ask for opinions on things, schedule out work loads and arrange dress fittings, planning become easier and everyone is involved. You can organise group meetings from there using skype . By the time your hens night come around all the special girls in your life should know who is who, and this will lead to a happier and relaxed time for everyone, but most importantly for you.
3. Choose attire carefully.
We love the women in our lives because they are all different, so why do some girls try to fit them all into one dress style. When it comes to bridesmaids dresses, one style definitely does not suit all. If your party has a variety of body shapes or style preferences, explore the idea of doing a mix and match look, where you select a colour and fabric and let them do the rest. You will end up with bridesmaids who love how they look and avoid a lot of tension and tears trying to make them all the same.
4. Remember their “other” lives.
Being a Bride you become consumed with the planning of every tiny detail and you love every minute of it because its your wedding. You need to try to put yourself in the shoes of your bridesmaids and realise some of your requests can be asking too much. Be realistic, don’t ask them to grow out their hair, or change their style completely, remember you asked them for who they are to you, NOT what they look like. It’s perfectly acceptable to rely on bridesmaids for help with DIY tasks, advice, and other planning duties, but don’t forget to take a step back: Remember these women are your friends and family members, not your personal assistants. They probably also have busy lives. When planning work duties ask when they are available, don't just demand and accept them to just fall into line.
5. Be gentle on their bank accounts.
Money is one of those things that people are very sensitive about. Everyone works to a budge, and everyone is in different financial situations. A the Bride you NEED to remember this. —especially when the average cost of being a bridesmaid is upwards of $600+. The best way to ensure there are no financial surprises is to try to gauge everyone’s budget from the very beginning. Then, break down each event and plan events that everyone can afford to go to. If Bali is your dream bachelorette party destination but your bridesmaids can’t afford the plane tickets, a local beach may be more appropriate. Try to accommodate and plan around everyone’s financial situations and, remember, the most important thing is spending quality time together to celebrate the occasion. Embarrassing friends and family financial can cause you real problems... and may lose you some friends. If you have a friend who can not contribute as much as other because of finances, then keep that to yourself, don't embarrass them by letting everyone know they are on a tighter budget then others.
6. Pick your battles.
Over the course of 14 months (the length of the average engagement , there’s bound to be some disagreement. One of the most common is when the bride thinks one or more of her bridesmaids isn’t pulling her weight. Often bridesmaids don’t know what they need to be doing or should be doing, so it’s really important to set expectations and be clear about what you need and what they are able to help with. Spread out duties across all of your bridesmaids so nobody feels super stressed or left out. If there is a disagreement at a wedding-related event, the best way to deal with it any problems is after the event is over. “Fake it until you make it.” Then, deal with conflict in private once everyone has had time to cool down.
7. Give them a schedule.
On the day of the wedding, bridesmaids often show up and are eager to know what to expect throughout the day, so it is a very good idea for the bride to give bridesmaids a detailed itinerary of how the day is going to go, where they need to be, and who they can turn to with questions. And don’t forget to provide enough food and drink to keep everyone’s energy up in the morning: Food is absolutely necessary to make sure everyone is well fed and hydrated. Be careful of too much bubbly during the mornings preparations, the last thing you need is a wobbly bridesmaid meandering down the aisle.
8. Say thank you ( and Please)—often.
You’re probably planning to give all of your bridesmaids a gift on the big day, but it’s essential to make the ladies feel appreciated throughout the entire process: Writing a handwritten card or pulling them aside and saying ‘Susie, thank you so much for all you did, it truly made me feel more confident on my wedding day’ can go a long way.
Remember to enjoy your day with the special women in your life.
Cheers Dark Room Diva
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